


What's a Monster Gotta Do to Get a Date Around Here?

by lesbianshibs



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: Banter, Baseball Player Iwaizumi, Demon Tendou Satori, Fluff, Getting Together, Half Mermaid Bokuto Koutarou, Human/Monster Society, Jock Iwaizumi, Kinda, Kitsune Oikawa Tooru, Kitsune Sugawara Koushi, M/M, Phantom Haiba Alisa, Tendou is an asshole, Werewolf Iwaizumi Hajime, he's just a bad kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-03
Updated: 2021-01-03
Packaged: 2021-03-13 04:27:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,594
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28522392
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesbianshibs/pseuds/lesbianshibs
Summary: Iwaizumi Hajime is the coolest ghoul in school.Vice president of the baseball team, top of the honour roll, charismatic as hell… It’s really a wonder how he’s still single as a cyclop’s eyeball.No one is as cool as Iwaizumi Hajime. Except maybe Tendou Satori (at least, tendou himself thinks he’s cooler).
Relationships: Iwaizumi Hajime/Tendou Satori, Minor or Background Relationship(s), Oikawa Tooru/Sugawara Koushi
Comments: 2
Kudos: 27





	What's a Monster Gotta Do to Get a Date Around Here?

**Author's Note:**

  * For [vampcabinet](https://archiveofourown.org/users/vampcabinet/gifts).



Iwaizumi Hajime is the coolest ghoul in school.   
  
Vice president of the baseball team, top of the honour roll, charismatic as hell… It’s really a  _ wonder _ how he’s still single as a cyclop’s eyeball. Practically every student at Creaturion Collegiate is clambering over themselves to get his attention in any way they can. Platonically, romantically, even a small wave in the hall can turn a gorgon to stone. There’s even a rumour floating around that one time in adventuring class Iwaizumi offered to tutor an underclassman and when he put a hand on her shoulder, she melted. Like, literally melted. She sunk into the vents and no one’s seen her since.  _ That’s  _ the kind of power Iwaizumi has. Not to mention, he’s totally erasing the social stigma against vampires.   
  
Usually the werewolves are the popular kids, with their rich parents, fancy clothes and high “etiquette” _.  _ If you even look at them the wrong way they can end your entire social career before lunch period, and that’s on a  _ slow _ day. Vampires, on the other hand, are less fortunate. A lot of them live on the rougher side of town, and they have a reputation, you could say, for being… abrasive. They’re the loners, the ‘bad’ kids, the  _ freaks.  _ Iwaizumi seems to be the only bloodsucker that’s higher than his ‘station’. And the werewolves  _ love  _ it. They eat up everything he says like it’s raw filet mignon. Of course Iwaizumi never indulges them, brushing them off at almost every hour of the day and keeping his distance as much as possible.

  


Basically, no one is as cool as Iwaizumi Hajime. Except maybe Tendou Satori (at least, _tendou himself_ thinks he’s cooler). 

  


Tendou… is the polar opposite of everything Iwaizumi stands for. Ever since bright red horns sprouted from his head in third grade, he’s wholeheartedly perpetrated every stereotype that applies to demons. He walks through the halls like he owns them and shows up to class when he pleases. Teachers  _ lament  _ over the days when Tendou waltzes through their classroom doors, because all he does is rest his muddy combat boots on the desks and vape the whole period. The worst part is that he doesn’t even get bad grades. Tendou’s  _ also  _ on the honour roll. He’s just so obnoxiously smart that he doesn’t need to pay attention in class to get there. It pisses everyone  _ right off,  _ and that’s exactly what he wants. Someone telling him that he’s the ‘bane of their existence’ is the highest form of flattery you could show him and it’s what he  _ strives  _ towards. Graduating? Making friends? Doing anything that high school’s actually for? Useless. In Tendou’s mind, the main goal of highschool is to make as many enemies as possible. In fact, it’s what he’s doing right now.    
  
“I swear to kaltenbrun that if you don’t back the  _ fuck  _ away from me i’ll rip you to shreds, infernal scum,” Alisa Haiba seethed through her clenched teeth, smacking at Tendou’s shoulder with her sheer hand for what seemed to be the thousandth time that period.   
  
“I don’t know what you’re talking about, Haiba,” Tendou smirks, blowing another puff of smoke towards his ghostly classmate.   
  
“ _ UGH  _ I’d get it if you had one of those limited edition vapes that blow out monster shapes, but you’re obviously just being petty,” She huffs as she crosses her arms.    
  
“It’s lemon lime,” He smiles widely, showing all four rows of his razor sharp teeth. “Listen, Haiba, you gotta stop being such a hardass about it. I’m letting you get secondhand high for free, that’s a privilege.”   
  


“We’ve had classes together for six years, will you  _ ever  _ start calling me by my first name?” Alisa said as she reached over to dig through her backpack.   
  
“Well, we’re not friends, so… Nah,” Tendou cackled.    
  
“Really? ‘We’re not friends’? That’s what you’re going with?” She said, finally managing to yank her water bottle out from her bag.

  


“Yep, exactly. Don't you agree?” 

  


Alisa’s eyebrow twitched, her mouth twisting into a deep scowl. She didn't reply. The slam of her metal water bottle slamming into her desk was enough of an answer. Tendou swallowed, feeling the natural urge to hide as far away from that highly dented bottle as possible. He’d never actually admit Alisa was the scariest bitch he’s ever met, but he thinks that maybe she already knows. He scrambles back and out of his desk, playing it off like a purposefully overexaggerated stumble. 

  


“ _ Okay,  _ thanks for the near death experience but I have a boy to steal away from his own miserable life,” Tendou teased, snatching up his own bag and backing away from their spots at the back of the class. “Seeya.”

  


“If I didn’t know you better, I’d ask where you were going. Good luck at… What? Your fourth attempt this week?” Alisa said hastily, sticking her nose up and smirking as she swiftly twisted open her water bottle. 

  


“Ha. Ha. Ha.” Tendou punctuated each fake laugh with a stomp backwards. “Fuck you.”

  


And with that he was out, sliding out of the classroom without a care in the world about the teacher and lesson left in his wake. If he was honest, he didn’t even know if he was enrolled in that class. He just knew Alisa had her last period there and Mr. Ukai didn’t fuck with him. Really only one teacher tried to not treat him like a lost cause. Such a shame too, Mr. Ushijo seemed like a good dude. Tendou just had to keep ruining his life until the old fuck left him alone. It was both a blessing and a curse that the man coached the baseball team. 

  


“Back for another rejection?” A voice sounded from the bleachers. Tendou knew it all too well.

  


“Awe, how’d you guess! That’s exactly it! What’re you here for, Tooru? Pining over number 2 again? He won’t know you’re obsessed with him until you make a move,” Tendou shot back, snapping his head to the side. Oikawa was sitting bundled up on the metal stairs, brown tails curling around his thighs and ears flat against his hair. 

  


“I’ll tell Koushi when I’m ready, you heathen. We’re both Kitsune, it’s a match made in heaven,” Oikawa protested, lifting his chin from his bundled scarf and sticking out his tongue. “You’re no match for Iwa-chan anyways. You should probably give up,”

  


“I don’t give up on the things I want, unlike  _ someone, _ ” Tendou hissed out, staring pointedly at the older boy’s big metal knee brace. He physically watched Oikawa bristle, fur standing on end. The redhead knew that was a soft spot, the brunette had just had to quit baseball a month ago to allow his knee to heal. It was still an open wound. That’s why he said it,  _ duh _ .

  


“Eat shit and die,” Oikawa hissed, fangs slipping out as he gnashed his teeth. He seemed to curl in on himself. Exactly the reaction Tendou wanted.

  


“Not on the schedule, dollface,” Tendou said, sauntering off towards where the baseball team had gathered.    
  
“You should be more careful with what you say,” Sugawara snapped out as soon as the redhead was within earshot. His grey tails were puffed slightly, his posture strong and defensive. Tendou arched a brow.  _ Unexpected _ , he thought.  _ Maybe Tooru has more of a chance then I thought.  _

  


“Where’s golden boy?” Tendou asked the rest of the gathered boys. Most of which were minding their own business, but a few turned his way at the words. 

  


“He’s pitching today!” Bokuto supplied helpfully as he tied his turf shoes. Gold scales glittered across his skin, shining in the sun.

  


“Not that it’s any of your business,” Sugawara mumbled, yanking his bat from it’s spot in his bag as the coaches called him up to plate. 

  


Just as the older boy was about to trudge onto the sandlot, a hand fisted in his jersey and yanked him back. Tendou slipped by as the grey haired man stumbled. He heard many protests from the coaches and some of the players, but he didn’t care. He had one goal in mind. And that goal was standing on the pitcher’s mound with his arms crossed, looking hot as hell. 

  


“Hey handsome, you come here often,” Tendou shouted, still a few metres away from the mound as he sauntered forward.

  


“What do you want, Tendou?” Iwaizumi quipped, biting the inside of his cheek to keep himself from smiling. He  _ tried _ to hide it, but Tendou knew better. Because on the first day he asked Iwaizumi out, the brunette leaned into his space and told him that his  _ guilty _ pleasure was playing hard to get. No one stuck around long enough to play properly. Well… Tendou loved a challenge. 

  


“It’s Thursday. 50’s night at the diner. Wanna be my date?” Tendou smirked, opening his arms wide as he came to a stop a couple of feet away from the brunette. 

  


“Your date, huh?” Iwaizumi leaned his head back, and a bead of sweat slipped down the swell of his Adam's apple. He was tossing a baseball back and forth in his hands, the leather making a small thub every time it hit his glove. Tendou shoved his hands in his pockets, eyes catching on every small movement the other man made. “Just in luck. You finally caught me on a day I'm free. Pick me up after practice at six thirty.” 

  


“Did you bring date clothes with you today, Hajime?” Tendou teased.

  


“Duh. I was expecting you to ask. Now get the hell off my field.”

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys !!! Thanks so much for reading !!! This was a commission for my close friend vlad, because he's a slut for iwaten and monsters. and also baseball. 
> 
> I hope you like this little one-shot, and if y'all like it maybe i'll turn it into a series, since i've got some ideas for iwaten's future and their friend's relationships (insert eyeball emoji)
> 
> you can find me anywhere as @/lesbianshibs or @/neonklucy


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